Vlorbik's Diner

son of owen's cooking show

Archive for July, 2015

obvious desperate breakfast

Posted by vlorbik on July 31, 2015

i hit the ground running after a layoff
of a few days and bam!

(1) turn on the burner. all the way up: “high”.

(2) grab whatever clutter is on top o’ th’ toaster;
jam it all over in its spot on the washer.
fuss around as necessary with whatever counter-
-tops you’ve seen along the way (though, of
course, most–maybe all–of this would’ve been
better left unmentioned).

the butter is already starting to burn.
so grab a fork… the plastic stuff works,
yay…an’ slsm that better-than-perfect


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more will be revealed

Posted by vlorbik on July 31, 2015

when we got back from the roadtrip
i must’ve been in a cooking-show mood

(and so to bed.)

anyhow, first thing. show up; put the burner
on “high”. get a bread-bag bread out; drop
one slice in the toaster and jam it on down.

find a coffee-cup; fill it to 5/6 or so
& start it up in the micro-wave. beep-
-beep-beep. 1:30. trust but verify.

“eggiweggs!”, one is called upon to exclaim
at this point. back to the “fridge”; grab
an egg. you know what? set that egg aside
in whatever measuring-cup is handy; good.
*now*, what. more *butter*, okay.

i’ve lost the “thread”. but
“the sky’s the limit”.

g-d i wish i was me.

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mystery dance

Posted by vlorbik on July 18, 2015

Photo on 7-17-15 at 11.40 AM

i can’t do it anymore and i’m not satisfied.

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negatively fifth street

Posted by vlorbik on July 16, 2015

a drifter escaped from a boxcar/ denouncing obviously jive believers/ has a zine about it in the catalog/ but nobody can work the damned randtrievers/ and the cats are praying in the alley/ and the pool shark is chalking up his cue/ an’ i’m out lookin’ for my lady/ down on kirkwood avenue

jesse, he’s round the corner/ buskin in front of the bird/ doesn’t bother him if no-one stops to listen/ doesn’t bother him if they don’t like the words/ and some violence boys might come and beat him down/ and he’ll forgive ’em more than i could ever do/ but that’s nothin compared to what’s goin on/ back on kirkwood avenue

a melancholy cougar/ buys a hoagie from a clown/ there’s a tempest brewing somewhere/ and there’s panthers on the other edge of town/ and the goddess of gloom and the jester/ are doin’, that thing they love to do/ in a video montage/ at the parking garage/ on kirkwood avenue

a cloud of marijuana/ is obscuring the people in the park/ or maybe i’m just losing my eyesight/ or maybe it’s just getting close to dark/ an’ the tournament game was a victory/ so now it’s turnin’ into a zoo/ an’ the riot squad and the thunder god/ are on kirkwood avenue

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A Bodybuilder’s ABC (1997)

Posted by vlorbik on July 6, 2015

A is for arms, although some call them guns,
B is for back: from your neck to your buns.
C for the curls that we do without cheating,
D is for deltoids, and
E is for eating.
F is for Flex, the uncrowned Mr. O,
G is the gym, where we frequently go.
H for the hair that we shave from our skin,
I is intensity: I’m gonna win!
J for the judges who
K keep the score,
L is for lifting and lifting some more.
M is for mass which is ever progressing,
N for the noise that we make when we’re pressing.
O! The Olympia! Bodies like gods!
P is for pectorals,
Q is for quads.
R is for rep and so
S is for set,
T for “Today was the best workout yet.”
U Unbelievable! Just can’t be beat!
V is the vitamin pills that we eat.
W: weights which are heavy as hell,
X is our shirts which are size XXL.
Y is for Yes, you’ll remember to train, and
Z is for Zap (and it’s also for Zane).
Now I’ve said my alphabet. Tell me… am a bigger yet?

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Posted by vlorbik on July 5, 2015

Photo on 7-5-15 at 10.22 AM

the next load will have fresh dishsoap
and consist mostly of glass. quite a bit
of it is sitting even now to the right of
the sink unwashed (but already rinsed
when appropriate). but first i’ll’ve eaten
something. grub before ethics.

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countdown to bastille day

Posted by vlorbik on July 4, 2015

Photo on 7-4-15 at 10.43 AM

bonus (deleted scene):
here’s a first take of that
insanely-fatty bacon strip.

Photo on 6-22-15 at 11.24 AM

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homefries preps

Posted by vlorbik on July 3, 2015

Photo on 7-3-15 at 2.25 PM

if life gives you pigfat,
fry a bunch of stuff in pigfat.

Photo on 6-22-15 at 11.25 AM

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until we have keyboards

Posted by vlorbik on July 3, 2015

Photo on 6-22-15 at 2.12 PM

Photo on 6-25-15 at 12.28 PM

Photo on 7-3-15 at 10.09 AM

domestic arts in the age of digital distribution

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