Vlorbik's Diner

son of owen's cooking show

Archive for the ‘Recipes’ Category

another one o’ them three-measuring-cup days

Posted by vlorbik on September 20, 2014

Photo on 9-20-14 at 3.43 PM

madeline’s been cooking up a storm:
sausage-pie for the two of us and
chocolate-peanutbutter fudge for
church tomorrow (still for “us”,
but in a broader sense… and,
of course, narrow-sense “we” get
the leftovers back, effendi).

me? more “open a can, drink down
like a beverage” than what i’ve
grown used to. i’ve begun my
biggest-ever grading load (here’s
Virtual MEdZ
). today’s recipe.

chefskill swiss-on-french
*toasted french bread, as thick as my thumb
*swiss cheese slices, as thin as a pencil
*mayo, info classified
slather, stack, serve.
serves one. at the desk.

(madeline had the rest of the
frenchbread toast, buttered.
also at the desk. a different
desk. but at the same time.
yay, our 4-slice toaster.)

getting back to work.

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no fork, no plate, no problem

Posted by vlorbik on September 11, 2014

Photo on 9-11-14 at 11.44 AM

eggs vlorbik

two eggs
much bacongrease
pepper (fresh-ground)

buttered toast

instant coffee, sugar, milk

remove bacon from pan; control
quality; drain for later BLT.
fill the best nearby coffeecup
& nuke it for two minutes. get
out the eggs. burner on “third”.
bust the yolks on arrival but
keep the yellow bit more or less
in the middle with some careful
touches of the turner. drop the
toast. when the bottom of the
eggpuddle gets hard, invert it
and put on the seasonings.
lower the heat. mess about
in the greater kitchen. last
night’s mixingbowls had home-
made soup & mac-cheese not
long ago. re-nuke the forgotten
coffeecup slightly & add the
ingredients. butter the toast.
lay little slabs of egg on with
the turner & (when cool enough),
shove it all in your mouth. chew.
swallow. repeat. serves one happy

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the framing problem

Posted by vlorbik on September 4, 2014

Photo on 9-3-14 at 7.48 PM

history of lemonade. post n+1.

half the lemon remains in the form
of a lemon-half (here in the photo
and now as i type; it’s now in the
reeferbox in a small lidded-storage-
-cup). the rind of the other half,
seen here behind the (measuring) cup,
still has most of the fibre-bundle
stuff that separated sections of pulp
rightly-so-called; the pulp itself
is in a mediumsized, currently
unlidded, storage-cup… and the
not-very-pulpy-at-all *juice* (of
half the lemon) is in the cup.

the technique… more or less obviously,
i imagine… is essentially the same as
the grapefruit-half eating style i’ll’ve
mostly learned from my older sister. we
even had special spoons on hand sometimes.
i just use a steak knife on the lemonhalves.

all for today.

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chickenleg sand

Posted by vlorbik on June 8, 2014

Photo on 2014-06-07 at 19.12

Photo on 2014-06-07 at 18.48

not shown: toast and mayo.
there’s one whole leg left
over. the big pieces of
skin went into a frying pan;
i’ve eaten all but the very
biggest as of the next morn-
ing. the bag of bones is
destined for the dumpster
obviously; the back-organs
are duly consumed along
with the bits of meat that
didn’t easily come off of
the bone or cartilage or
sinew or what have you.
yum. serve with ramen
noodles fried (after soft-
ening in the chickenbroth)
in leftover bacongrease
(seasoned lightly with
premix “poultry” blend
from the spicerack–
“fried ramen chips”).
makes two goodly sand-
wich halves, which in
the event, i got one of
for myownself. yum again.

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arnoldizing syrup

Posted by vlorbik on May 25, 2014

Photo on 2014-05-25 at 09.49

cut off the end of the lemon
with the steak knife & squeeze
a little bit of juice into
the measuring cup. then take
the lemon in your weak (left)
hand with the cut at the top
and pulp the insides, still
in the peel, with the steak
knife (in your good [right]
hand). squeeze it all into
the measuring cup. scoop in
sugar liberally. three scoops
ought to do it. break out the
ice-tea and an ice-cube tray
(one has prepared trays half-
-full so that there are lots
of small cubes in a handful;
these chill the drinks better
so re-half-fill those trays
often for best results; one
tray fills a tostito’s jar
more or less).

put some ice and some tea
into a tostito’s jar (not
shown here but quite plenti-
ful here at cooking show HQ;
two virtues making ’em worth
saving are their wide mouths
and their liddedness [being
made of glass and found cheap
in every convenience store, full
of tasty salsa, *almost* went
without saying]). add in
a few goodly spoonfuls of
syrup. (optional: fish out
the damn seeds first.) fill
up the jar the rest of the
way with ice and tea; screw
on the lid and give it a good
shake. take a good refreshing
swallow. fine tune to taste.

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half a lemon per entire pitcher of powdered ‘nade. arnoldize to taste. leftover pizza dipped in ranch.

Posted by vlorbik on May 5, 2014

Photo on 2014-05-04 at 10.00

Photo on 2014-05-04 at 21.37

some more fruits of my latest shelving binge
and probably the last dishes i’ll wash tonight.
i improved a bunch of the movie-and-theatre
section today. madeline liked the homefries.
yay, me.

if there’s bacon trimmings set aside,
heat ’em up in the small steel pan.
wipe out the cast-iron pan & melt
some butter in it.

cut four potatoes in half the long way
with the big knife on a wooden cutting
board. slide each potato-half gradually
under the knife with your left hand as
you raise and lower the knife with your
right in a sort of “rolling” motion (so
that the blade never leaves the board);
the ideal here is uniformly thin “chip”-
-like slices.

this’ll take longer than you anticipate
and the butter’s getting hot, so get
some of the easy stuff started: break
out the peppers (four colors of green
pepper, already cleaned & partly sliced
as of, what, a couple days now i guess);
finish cutting up a couple strips in
each color & put ’em in the butter.

get out the thousand island while you’re
at it and quality-control a few pepper-
-slices. finish cutting up the potatoes
& put ’em in the pigfat. go get an
onion-half; knock off a corner & slice
it up. merge the taters in with the
peppers; cover it up and lower the heat.
cook the sting out of the onions in
the little pan and add those in. now
do the dishload seen here: this will
take a while. whenever you think about
stirring stuff up, try the thickest
slice you see: still too crunchy.
halfheartedly cut a few other thick
slices with the turner; re-cover &
get back to cleaning up. somewhere
along the line, add in some taco
seasoning (from a pre-mix package
but stored in a no-label bottle
[seen here at the back of the
“spicerack” shelf with the easily-
-missed brown lid next to the no-
-label bottle with the green lid,
right behind the greek seasoning])
and some “greek” seasoning. heat
up a coffee and have some of that.
when the homefries are good and ready,
put most of it into a small glass bowl
and add a goodly dollop of sour cream.
sprinkle a token few dried parsley
flakes on top of the sour-cream dollop
so it’ll look all classy and stuff.
serves one hungry clean-plater.
yay, me.

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dᴉlɔ ƃɐq

Posted by vlorbik on April 13, 2014

Photo on 2014-04-12 at 20.44

lemonade by the glass.
slice up half a lemon
a little thinner than you can
(if you can keep the slices nice
and round, they’re too thick;
we’ll be *skipping* the step
where you cut the little lemon-
-circle open [the “bartender
cut”; of course one then uses
the last cut to hang the lemon-
-circle on the patron’s glass]).
knock out all the seeds & squeeze
the pulpy parts against the inside
of a “tumbler”-sized glass. drop
in the rinds. cover liberally with
sugar (from the “diner sugar pourer”
that makes this task one-handed).
add in some water & as much ice as
will fit. stir with a chopstick.
serves one. (and a half; you can
add some more sugar & water when
you’re done… just be sure to
bang on those rinds good & hard
and don’t expect it to taste as
good as the original batch.)

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juice of three lemons; water and sugar to taste. serve in tall glasses with ice (and straws).

Posted by vlorbik on April 3, 2014

Photo on 2014-04-02 at 22.01

also on today’s menu: leftover spaghetti
& chicken sandwich (toast, mayo, chicken…
the last of the whole chicken i cup up
upthread somewhere… lettuce, tomato).
later madeline thawed some of the frozen
chicken & made some noodles-&-veg dinner
to go around it. the extra sauce from
this, i’ve just mixed into some packet
spanish-rice. meanwhile, a can of chicken
noodle comfort-food (microwaved of course
and knocked down out of a big oversize
plastic mug like a beverage) and, let’s
see, some coffee of course (amazing with
half-and-half instead of mere milk).
and, oh, yeah. how could i forget:
“mock apple pie”. yes, you read it
here first… after umpty-blue million
years of reading about it on boxes
of ritz crackers, madeline one day…
a couple days ago now, i guess…
just up and *made* one. it’s great.
zap and slather with reddi-wipp.

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second load today

Posted by vlorbik on March 27, 2014

Photo on 2014-03-27 at 14.46

meanwhile we had jiffy-mix pancakes
(break two eggs into the measuring-
-cup mixing bowl, add some milk,
fiddle around until, what the heck,
let’s just have the whole rest of
the package and just add as much
milk as it takes; stir with whisk).
some cooked in bacon fat (along with,
you guessed it, the bacon itself and
also a slice of ham). some cooked
in butter. serve with maple syrup
and butter. tap-water-&-frozen orange-
-pineapple juice. next up now that the decks
are cleared for action: lettuce-and-tomato
salad. add whatever’s handy.

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one potato, grated; about one-eighth of an onion, chopped medium-fine; greek seasoning; butter. pan-fry & serve.

Posted by vlorbik on March 14, 2014

Photo on 2014-03-14 at 09.11

the plastic handled-mixing-bowl shown here…
i just checked… also has graduations
(up to a quart, i think… i didn’t check
*carefully*, evidently…). but it’s, yick,
plastic. you can see the tater-grater there
in the drainer. you can see the unwashed
egg-flipper, too, right there in front.
all is well *chez nous*. coffee!

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