owen's cooking show

just what is it that makes today’s homes so different, so appealing?

Posted by vlorbik on August 18, 2015

Photo on 8-18-15 at 2.47 AM

farmer’s-market fresh watermelon.
*and* an enormous tomato much better
than the genetically-blahblah stuff
from the grocer… enough for two
BLT’s and a salad, with leftovers
for the cook… *and* several ears
of fresh-enough-to-eat-raw corn.
(only one gone so far but who counts.)

my mother was here for her usual
summer plays-and-loved-ones tour
of the eastern-midwest and boy
was it great. the farmer’s
market at the church carny you
know about. madeline made some
melt-in-your-mouth chicken in
the crockpot and some amazing
bread; meanwhile i tossed a salad
and served. lemonade, real lemons.
ice tea. real tea. real ice.

meanwhile, i’ve been banging out
the taters and whatnot. and there’s
this store-boughten “french” bread
that’s way better than the usual
industry-grade airbread. you slice it
just before dropping it in the toaster.
it’s not quite as good as the home-made
but there’s a freshness to it that
the “pre-sliced” stuff doesn’t get.

these dinky little three-color greenpeppers
(that madeline’s been getting) are adorable.
you just cut off the heads and tails
(& dip ’em in ranch and swallow ’em);
the rest slices up neatly in cute little
onion-ring-like circles to be thrown into
your salad. or homefries, or what have you.
sandwich, if you were more daring than i.

there’s some burgers thawing. indeed,
probably thawed by now and ready for
frying (if i could only stop typing)
or for jamming-into-the-fridge (if,
despite my best efforts, i should
somehow *fail* to stop typing).

did i mention that i did my
best-ever church service
last week and change? because,
whaddaya know. i did that.

history’s happiest human again today.

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rorschach never did this

Posted by vlorbik on August 10, 2015

Photo on 8-10-15 at 6.54 AM

best-yet show in church yesterday, i think. take that.
Photo on 7-17-15 at 11.40 AMPhoto on 7-5-15 at 10.22 AM

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obvious desperate breakfast

Posted by vlorbik on July 31, 2015

i hit the ground running after a layoff
of a few days and bam!

(1) turn on the burner. all the way up: “high”.

(2) grab whatever clutter is on top o’ th’ toaster;
jam it all over in its spot on the washer.
fuss around as necessary with whatever counter-
-tops you’ve seen along the way (though, of
course, most–maybe all–of this would’ve been
better left unmentioned).

the butter is already starting to burn.
so grab a fork… the plastic stuff works,
yay…an’ slsm that better-than-perfect

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more will be revealed

Posted by vlorbik on July 31, 2015

when we got back from the roadtrip
i must’ve been in a cooking-show mood

(and so to bed.)

anyhow, first thing. show up; put the burner
on “high”. get a bread-bag bread out; drop
one slice in the toaster and jam it on down.

find a coffee-cup; fill it to 5/6 or so
& start it up in the micro-wave. beep-
-beep-beep. 1:30. trust but verify.

“eggiweggs!”, one is called upon to exclaim
at this point. back to the “fridge”; grab
an egg. you know what? set that egg aside
in whatever measuring-cup is handy; good.
*now*, what. more *butter*, okay.

i’ve lost the “thread”. but
“the sky’s the limit”.

g-d i wish i was me.

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mystery dance

Posted by vlorbik on July 18, 2015

Photo on 7-17-15 at 11.40 AM

i can’t do it anymore and i’m not satisfied.

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negatively fifth street

Posted by vlorbik on July 16, 2015

a drifter escaped from a boxcar/ denouncing obviously jive believers/ has a zine about it in the catalog/ but nobody can work the damned randtrievers/ and the cats are praying in the alley/ and the pool shark is chalking up his cue/ an’ i’m out lookin’ for my lady/ down on kirkwood avenue

jesse, he’s round the corner/ buskin in front of the bird/ doesn’t bother him if no-one stops to listen/ doesn’t bother him if they don’t like the words/ and some violence boys might come and beat him down/ and he’ll forgive ’em more than i could ever do/ but that’s nothin compared to what’s goin on/ back on kirkwood avenue

a melancholy cougar/ buys a hoagie from a clown/ there’s a tempest brewing somewhere/ and there’s panthers on the other edge of town/ and the goddess of gloom and the jester/ are doin’, that thing they love to do/ in a video montage/ at the parking garage/ on kirkwood avenue

a cloud of marijuana/ is obscuring the people in the park/ or maybe i’m just losing my eyesight/ or maybe it’s just getting close to dark/ an’ the tournament game was a victory/ so now it’s turnin’ into a zoo/ an’ the riot squad and the thunder god/ are on kirkwood avenue

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A Bodybuilder’s ABC (1997)

Posted by vlorbik on July 6, 2015

A is for arms, although some call them guns,
B is for back: from your neck to your buns.
C for the curls that we do without cheating,
D is for deltoids, and
E is for eating.
F is for Flex, the uncrowned Mr. O,
G is the gym, where we frequently go.
H for the hair that we shave from our skin,
I is intensity: I’m gonna win!
J for the judges who
K keep the score,
L is for lifting and lifting some more.
M is for mass which is ever progressing,
N for the noise that we make when we’re pressing.
O! The Olympia! Bodies like gods!
P is for pectorals,
Q is for quads.
R is for rep and so
S is for set,
T for “Today was the best workout yet.”
U Unbelievable! Just can’t be beat!
V is the vitamin pills that we eat.
W: weights which are heavy as hell,
X is our shirts which are size XXL.
Y is for Yes, you’ll remember to train, and
Z is for Zap (and it’s also for Zane).
Now I’ve said my alphabet. Tell me… am a bigger yet?

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Posted by vlorbik on July 5, 2015

Photo on 7-5-15 at 10.22 AM

the next load will have fresh dishsoap
and consist mostly of glass. quite a bit
of it is sitting even now to the right of
the sink unwashed (but already rinsed
when appropriate). but first i’ll’ve eaten
something. grub before ethics.

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countdown to bastille day

Posted by vlorbik on July 4, 2015

Photo on 7-4-15 at 10.43 AM

bonus (deleted scene):
here’s a first take of that
insanely-fatty bacon strip.

Photo on 6-22-15 at 11.24 AM

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homefries preps

Posted by vlorbik on July 3, 2015

Photo on 7-3-15 at 2.25 PM

if life gives you pigfat,
fry a bunch of stuff in pigfat.

Photo on 6-22-15 at 11.25 AM

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