Vlorbik's Diner

son of owen's cooking show

vlorbik’s kitchen-sink stirfry

Posted by vlorbik on January 11, 2013

leftover chickenleg, one pre-boned (see below)
mixed frozen veggies (bottom of one bag)
white onion, maybe about a sixth
green pepper, one-fourth
pre-cut carrot slices, oh, half-a-dozen or so
celery, one stalk
garlic, one fingertip-size clove
baconfat, rather a lot
butter, good size hunk
packs of ramen with powder gone, two
soy sauce, some
store-bought italian dressing, just a bit
pepper, fresh ground, to taste

do the ramen in the microwave till
most of it’s begun to get soft.
try 2-2-2; still a little too hard.
put it back for about 5-5. about right.

meanwhile heat up the pigfat
in the cast-iron skillet and
some of the butter in the big
steel pan.

dice up the onion & do it in the butter.

when the lard is hot, take the hard stuff
out and chew a piece; drop the rest in
the grossout glass drippings-jar (and
re-cover quick). add the ramen & some
soy sauce. stir.

try some onion. good enough.
into the big pan with it. stir.
now do the carrots. don’t get ’em
too soft! the garlic has to be cut
up into tiny little bits. indeed,
it first must be *peeled*, so this
“fresh garlic” thing is pretty
labor-intensive (there’s powdered
on the shelf). anyhow, into the
butter with till it starts to soften
up a little; then the main pan. stir.

the pepper and celery don’t require
any steel-pan time at all; chop ’em
up and put ’em in the main pan. stir.
maybe there’ll be some more soy
right in here. stir.

last of all, go for the frozen stuff.
intending to use only frozen *peas*,
notice that there’s some forlorn-looking
*mixed* frozen veggies in the bottom
of a bag at the back of the freezer.
rather more than anticipated.

use it all anyway: more butter in the pan.
when they start to warm up, add in the dressing.

meanwhile, cut up *all* the chicken meat
(instead of leaving enough for a sandwich
as originally planned). into the big pan.

somewhere in there, the pepper.
along the way, one is of course
stirring, stirring, stirring.
over mostly-pretty-low heat.

scoop out into big glass bowl and
refrigerate. serves two hungry
movie-viewers hours later after


Madeline’s Killer Baked Chicken Legs
(With Inspired Leftovers Sauce)

Drumstick-&-Thigh cuts, thawed (2)
Leftover canned Tomato (~1/2 can)
Leftover convenience-store Salsa (~1/4 jar)
Brown Rice (2 servings)

Cook the rice appropriately. Boil it for quite a while and drain, as I imagine. But I don’t vouch for this step. The last time I made rice, I broke off a piece of a tooth.

Meanwhile, lay the chicken in a squarish glass brownie dish and cover it with all the leftovers. Heat up the oven to some appropriate setting and shove in there till it’s done.

Summon Owen into the kitchen and have him bone the chicken and bring a couple dishes into the TV room. As usual, he’ll eat his way through this procedure, separating out the big meaty pieces of one of the legs for cutting up and stirring into the saucy rice, all the while consuming whatever bits can’t be separated neatly from the bone or appear to have too much cartilege to serve. Also parts of the skin. Also those tasty little organs next to the spine.

The other leg should be set aside and the whole boning procedure repeated hours later.

Serves two, with an entire chickenleg left over.

17 Responses to “vlorbik’s kitchen-sink stirfry”

  1. Madeline said

    You are enjoying this. I can tell

  2. Anonymous said

    I had no idea you were such a gourmet.

  3. Anonymous said

    Anonymous is your other wife, Shauna

  4. vlorbik said

    good to hear from you, anonymous!
    a horse is a horse, of course.

    leni finally got fed up with leonard
    and walked out into the world
    away from 2869 barclay
    (just like her brother bobby did
    a few years ago when he was
    fed up with francis [ritten…
    of *destiny*!]).

    shortly thereafter, the eviction notice
    came (they were trying to panic me
    into registering leonard as a tenant
    an paying extra). so i took it as an
    opportunity to break the lease.

    i’m moving out by the end of the month.
    have, indeed, filed a change-of-addy
    (or, rather, made madeline do it…
    i’m responsible for the brute-force
    moving-stuff-around duties. there
    is a *lot* of stuff as you know).

    want a couple tons of books and zines?

    love always. v.

  5. vlorbik said

    those tasty little organs are the kidneys. http://i.stack.imgur.com/HLEVO.jpg

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