vlorbik's scramble-fried eggs

slab of bacon fat
three eggs
shot of milk
hunk of cheddar cheese
red onion
ground red pepper
garlic powder
ground thyme

grab one of the new steel pans
from its nail beside the stove
and start heating it up to the
“third” setting. bust up the
bacon fat into its constituent
slice-fractions and put it in
to render.

break the eggs into one of the
gorgeous glass mixing-and-serving
bowls. the little one, indeed,
if it’s not already in use or
in the waiting-for-washing area.

if it should then occur, as it
might, that one of the eggbreakings
reveals a never-before-encountered
tendency for the hard *outer* shell
of the egg to separate from the
more flexible—even *skinlike*—
inner shell beneath while the
meat of the egg quivers around
*inside* the whole contraption,
well, then *go* with it. see
how much of the hard stuff you
can get off away from the membrane-
-thingy without busting everything
wide open. no, wait. time to check
on the bacon. go ahead and pierce
through the darn thing and get the
white-and-yolk in the bowl; set the
shell aside for later inspection.

stir up the pigfat. okay, that’s about
enough… and the edges are getting burny.
knock the chunks out; the pan’s ready.
turn it up to “second”.

chop up the onion… about enough to cover
the palm of your hand… and drop it
into the eggs. pour in the shot of milk.
stir vigorously with a fork.

pour the whole mess into the pan.
if all has gone well, the bottom part
will fry itself to a fairly hard state
that can be manipulated easily with
the steel turning-tool.

grate up a bunch of the cheese and lay it
on top of one half. try and fail to fold
the other half over onto this half
in omelette-like fashion. curse mildly
and mix the whole thing up into a mishmosh.
turn it back down to third.

look up at the cabinet area immediately
above the cutting-stuff-up counter just
to the side of the stove… the “spice
rack”, in other words… and grab some
stuff that looks like it might be appealing.
on another day, it’ll’ve been the “greek
seasoning” premix or even good old-fashioned
salt-and-p, but in this case it turns out to
be the pepper-garlic-thyme thing. season
to taste. stir it up some more; set it down
to “warm”.

okay. it’s no omelette, but it’s looking
pretty good. try some, right out of the pan.
yep. holy moley! drop toast! what’s *wrong*
with you? turn off the burner but leave the
pan on; its long handle is still cool and
it’s better than any plate for eating from.

serves one. tastes great.
(madeline believes eggs are ingredients
not entrees. so i made her a breakfast
sandwich an hour ago or so:
toasted sandwich rounds (2)
cream cheese
tomato slice
lettuce leaf
slather the c.c. onto the bottom slice;
lay the tomato & lettuce on top;
put the top slice on and crunch it down
slightly; slice off a small piece and eat it
["quality control"]; serve.)

About these ads